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"I'm just feeling ... I don't know, maybe like I'm not in charge of my destiny any longer. But I know that you two had a major part in my survival. I'm not alive just because of a good surgeon. One or both of you were with me the whole time, working on me, and I know that doctor took your suggestions more than once. Yeah, and I guess my ego got swatted a bit — well, maybe more than a bit. I mean, I have had women saving my life, not just nursing me back to health. You two actually stopped me from being killed. But like I said, my ego took a trouncing. I just feel... so unnecessary," he finished, drawing out the last."Why, Baby?" the nurses both said. "Why should our helping to save you hurt your ego?" Well, look. My dad got himself killed. I decided to go to college. I sold our house and away I went. I was feeling a little put upon, and I've always been a loner, anyway, so I kind of secluded myself and actually studied in college. Well, I guess I studied a lot. School was easy for me,. Now that Sarah was gone, Rachel confided more in me. About a week after the funeral, she confessed to me that she held some resentments towards her mother. "Daddy, Momma didn't want me to grow up and . . . I feel like, uh . . . when I see other k**s my age, I feel like . . . I don't fit in, you know, like I don't belong . . . and . . . sometimes . . . especially when I'm around boys . . . Daddy, I don't know the first thing about boys. You know, when I was with Hank and those other guys, nothin' happened, you know, mainly because I didn't want anything to happen, but . . . I was scared, too. Momma never told me anything about, uh . . . you know . . . s . . . e . . . x, and I just feel so totally scared when I think about, you know, like a boy might expect me to do somethin' more than just hold hands and give him a goodnight kiss, and . . . I don't know why I'm talkin' so much, but . . . Daddy, I've gotta depend on you now and . . . I hope maybe you can help me with some things that.
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